Using Microsoft Word can be one of the most aggravating experiences a computer user might go through. Here’s a list of what you might run into, and some tips on making it less infuriating:
1. Sentence Fragments:
If any of you have ever tried to write dialogue in Microsoft Word, you’ll notice those lovely green squiggles under almost everything that you write. Why? Because people don’t talk in full, grammatically correct sentences. The best way to get around this? Ignore it. Sentence fragments pop up everywhere in classic literature. Shortened sentences and dialogue fragments are also a useful literary tool in conveying certain tones or dialects.
2. Using the Synonym Tool (a.k.a. “thesaurus abuse”)
Synonyms are wonderful things. They keep you from having to repeat words endlessly and offer some interesting alternatives to overused phrases. However, connotation is a tricky thing. Before you exchange one word for another, try to find out the connotations of the words. For example, when you choose a synonym for the word “connotation”, Word offers “nuance” as a replacement. This is not a good match-connotation refers to an underlying meaning, and nuance is “a very slight difference”.
As for “thesaurus abuse”, this is a phenomenon that occurs when an author uses words that sound big and important all throughout their story. Usually, the author ends up with one of two outcomes: The words don’t match up (see above), making the story into big jumble of nonsense; or, the reader needs a dictionary on hand just to read the passage (Unless you are Shakespeare, this is a bad thing).
When can thesaurus abuse be a good thing? If it is used purposefully, and not in excess, it can help to set tone or characterization. A pretentious character might try and use long, intelligent-sounding words in the wrong context. This helps establish the character’s pretentiousness and can make for some comedy in the story.
3. Adding Words to the Dictionary
A piece of advice on this- do it sparingly. Most often, Word will attack character and place names. But before you hit “add to dictionary”, think about whether your computer really needs to know who Ulther Pendragon is. It may be convenient to get rid of the red squiggles plaguing your story, but I guarantee that it will trip you up later when you spell something wrong and Word doesn’t catch it because you told it “hey, that’s a word!”. You don’t want to get marked down on conventions on That Really Important English Paper because you told Word “pillowesque” is a word. Most of the time, just hitting ignore or ignore all will satisfy your vengeance against red squiggles.
4. Auto Correct: The Bane of Us All
Auto correct is the single most loved and hated feature of Microsoft Word. If you’re like me and can’t figure out why on Earth anyone would spell “guarantee” the way it’s spelled, it’s a savior. But, it’s also a sneaky little bastard that will change those little words with important connotations just when you’re not looking (my life is not “at steak”). Try to catch it all you may- it’ll get something in. The best way to thwart the Auto Correct is to reread your story. You might try reading it backwards so that you’re focusing on conventions rather than reading the story.
5. These are not the words you’re looking for
One thing I always noticed about Word while editing papers was that it never seemed to catch out of place wording. I’ll admit, Word has gotten better over the years, but it will still miss those odd words and typos occasionally. As long as it’s spelled right and not too terribly outrageous in context, Word will usually skim over it. This tends to happen a lot with homonyms. Again, the best way to fix this is to reread the story. Preferably, give yourself at least 24 hours between writing and editing. This way, you’re looking at it with a fresher set of eyes than if you just got done writing it.
6. Passive Voice: You’re not in English Class Anymore
While I appreciate English teachers’ undying hatred of passive voice, it does have a place in creative writing. Using passive voice separates the action from the subject. You’ll see that politicians use this quite a bit to distance themselves from others or from failed policies. But in writing, it can make things sound more concrete. Instead of using “seems” or “appears” etc., using “is” and “are” makes the phrase sound more definite. For example:
“The cat seems angry.”
“The cat is angry- it just attacked Jared’s face.”
The second cat seems much angrier than the first one, because it was implicitly stated that the cat “is angry”-there is no uncertainty here. Using words like “seem” can be useful, however, especially when there’s an unreliable narrator talking. Now, it goes without saying that nobody wants to read a story or a paper with 60% passive voice, but realize that it does have a place (that place is just not your English class).
Wordsmiths 